I Always Say I'm Sorry
You know, given my history in the past 7 years that I have been single, a few things have been made abundantly clear to me. First, after sleeping alone for so long, and in an empty bed, I finally broke down and bought myself one of those silly long body pillows. I figured, hey, it might help with the warmth factor at night, and give me something to curl up to when needed. Nope. 9 times out of 10, that damn thing ends up on the floor in the morning, and my blankets are twisted around me in every which direction. Sometimes, my two regular pillows even end up on the floor. So I guess this first paragraph is an apology to the man or woman that shares my bed with me in the future---at any given time---because you will likely have bruises and cracks to the skull which result in progressive concussive injuries. Sorry about that!
Whenever I chat with a new guy online, which has been an on and off process for the last several years, all goes well in the beginning. Then I let my mind start to wander, and the resulting paragraph long IM's that I send are met with "Cool" "K" or "Yea" responses from 99.985% of gay or bisexual men out there. Hmmmm. Apparently, I use my brain a little too much, and should just stick to asking these dudes, "How hung are you?" and varying stages of the "What are you into?" types of questions. These elicit wordier and more meaningful responses than any of my rants against customers or dumbass people in general ever do. And I always say I'm sorry for venting my opinion so candidly to these poor fellas.
The other day, when I was chatting with Jt, I must've sent him 6 paragraphs on MSN, describing the shit day I'd had at work, the stupid people I encountered at the service desk, and the general idiocy of the human race as a whole. He never once replied to any of my rants. "Sorry," I said, and he jumped right back in with a, "That's okay, we all need to vent sometimes." Then he told me his cock was juicing up, and we went from there with the more suitable flirtations that men want to talk about. All men except this one.
I will admit, there is nothing wrong with talking about what you want to talk about. For me, that means baring my heart and soul---well, maybe not so much right away, but I do let loose with the opinions and the problems, and the general day to day uckiness I usually feel. Whoops, I'm sorry, I'm babbling on about nothing, aren't I? My bad.
Even when I'm at work, it's a constant battle with people. "Excuse me sir, there's no twist ties in this dispenser." "I'm sorry, let me just run right to the back and get some more while you stand here and wait for me." Instead, why not walk your happy ass five feet away to the NEXT fully charged twist tie dispenser? Lord almighty, but that would take an EENSY bit more effort on the part of a customer. We are supposed to pander to their high and mightiness. I always forget about that. Sorry. Then you get the one or two customers every week that are looking for an item that "St Joe" always has, but we never do. "Sorry, we don't carry that item here, you'll have to go to St Joe". Fuck, why the hell didn't you just go to St Joe in the first place since you already know that they carry that item there? Now, if this was a long cold disturbing ride through huge minefields and warzones, then yeah, maybe you could complain about it a lil bit. But nope--the St Joe store is about 4 miles away from ours---and it is on the SAME ROAD! You hang a right out of our parking lot, drive for 5 minutes, and Woosh! You're there! So stop whining about us not carrying an item that we NEVER sell anyway. We don't carry what you don't buy! All I can say is sorry. Nothing else I can do, because even if we DID want to order your oddball need, it wouldn't be in for a day or two anyway---and by then you could easily drive elsewhere for it!
I do find great humor value in the fact that I start writing about guys and useless relationships and end up ranting about work and the morons there---again. This is my life, and anyone who wants to share is welcome to it! I'm not selfish! LOL.....at least not when it comes to the crap I have to put up with every single day, day after day.
Sorry, can I offer you a refund for that?
Whenever I chat with a new guy online, which has been an on and off process for the last several years, all goes well in the beginning. Then I let my mind start to wander, and the resulting paragraph long IM's that I send are met with "Cool" "K" or "Yea" responses from 99.985% of gay or bisexual men out there. Hmmmm. Apparently, I use my brain a little too much, and should just stick to asking these dudes, "How hung are you?" and varying stages of the "What are you into?" types of questions. These elicit wordier and more meaningful responses than any of my rants against customers or dumbass people in general ever do. And I always say I'm sorry for venting my opinion so candidly to these poor fellas.
The other day, when I was chatting with Jt, I must've sent him 6 paragraphs on MSN, describing the shit day I'd had at work, the stupid people I encountered at the service desk, and the general idiocy of the human race as a whole. He never once replied to any of my rants. "Sorry," I said, and he jumped right back in with a, "That's okay, we all need to vent sometimes." Then he told me his cock was juicing up, and we went from there with the more suitable flirtations that men want to talk about. All men except this one.
I will admit, there is nothing wrong with talking about what you want to talk about. For me, that means baring my heart and soul---well, maybe not so much right away, but I do let loose with the opinions and the problems, and the general day to day uckiness I usually feel. Whoops, I'm sorry, I'm babbling on about nothing, aren't I? My bad.
Even when I'm at work, it's a constant battle with people. "Excuse me sir, there's no twist ties in this dispenser." "I'm sorry, let me just run right to the back and get some more while you stand here and wait for me." Instead, why not walk your happy ass five feet away to the NEXT fully charged twist tie dispenser? Lord almighty, but that would take an EENSY bit more effort on the part of a customer. We are supposed to pander to their high and mightiness. I always forget about that. Sorry. Then you get the one or two customers every week that are looking for an item that "St Joe" always has, but we never do. "Sorry, we don't carry that item here, you'll have to go to St Joe". Fuck, why the hell didn't you just go to St Joe in the first place since you already know that they carry that item there? Now, if this was a long cold disturbing ride through huge minefields and warzones, then yeah, maybe you could complain about it a lil bit. But nope--the St Joe store is about 4 miles away from ours---and it is on the SAME ROAD! You hang a right out of our parking lot, drive for 5 minutes, and Woosh! You're there! So stop whining about us not carrying an item that we NEVER sell anyway. We don't carry what you don't buy! All I can say is sorry. Nothing else I can do, because even if we DID want to order your oddball need, it wouldn't be in for a day or two anyway---and by then you could easily drive elsewhere for it!
I do find great humor value in the fact that I start writing about guys and useless relationships and end up ranting about work and the morons there---again. This is my life, and anyone who wants to share is welcome to it! I'm not selfish! LOL.....at least not when it comes to the crap I have to put up with every single day, day after day.
Sorry, can I offer you a refund for that?
posted by Scooter at 4:16 PM
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