Letter to no one that I'll never send
Dear _____,
I know that we have been friends for a very long time. In fact, over the course of time, I've come to think of you as my best friend. We shared good times and bad, went to movies, went to dinner, and cried on each others shoulders when our pets died. I was there for your brothers graduation, and you were there when my grandmother passed away.
You know that in my life, I have never held anyone as close to my heart as I do you. I have never been in love. Never valued romance. I want people who hold hands in kiss in public to be hurt. I sleep alone every night, wondering where he is, why he hasn't found me yet, or if he even truly exists.
This may come at the most inopportune time for you---but you have allowed me to experience something I never have before. Over time, I have fallen in love with you. It is a new sensation for me---one that makes me truly happy, something I have never been in my whole life. Now, the question is, what do I do about it?
I guess that's why I'm writing you this letter. I don't know what to do, and I need for you to tell me. It's been so long since I've cared for anyone as I do you, and I need your help. I need you to tell me that you feel the same way, or I need you to tell me that you are happy being my best friend, and we'll leave it at that. But can we leave it at that? Will you be able to accept my feelings for you? I know that if you say you don't feel the same way for me I will gladly be your friend and let my other feelings subside.
Is it worth the risk?
I think it is.
Now I need to know what you think.
Yours, always.
I know that we have been friends for a very long time. In fact, over the course of time, I've come to think of you as my best friend. We shared good times and bad, went to movies, went to dinner, and cried on each others shoulders when our pets died. I was there for your brothers graduation, and you were there when my grandmother passed away.
You know that in my life, I have never held anyone as close to my heart as I do you. I have never been in love. Never valued romance. I want people who hold hands in kiss in public to be hurt. I sleep alone every night, wondering where he is, why he hasn't found me yet, or if he even truly exists.
This may come at the most inopportune time for you---but you have allowed me to experience something I never have before. Over time, I have fallen in love with you. It is a new sensation for me---one that makes me truly happy, something I have never been in my whole life. Now, the question is, what do I do about it?
I guess that's why I'm writing you this letter. I don't know what to do, and I need for you to tell me. It's been so long since I've cared for anyone as I do you, and I need your help. I need you to tell me that you feel the same way, or I need you to tell me that you are happy being my best friend, and we'll leave it at that. But can we leave it at that? Will you be able to accept my feelings for you? I know that if you say you don't feel the same way for me I will gladly be your friend and let my other feelings subside.
Is it worth the risk?
I think it is.
Now I need to know what you think.
Yours, always.
posted by Scooter at 1:59 PM
4 Comments:
I love reading your posts on this blog because they're so personal and from the heart.
Your post title and the end of your letter seem sort of... contradictory?
Is it worth the risk?
I think it is.
Sounds like you know what you want to do, but aren't sure of the outcome. Is there even the remotest possibility that this friend will reciprocate those feelings? And are you prepared to potentially lose the friendship if this friend decides that it's too uncomfortable to maintain, knowing your feelings?
Ultimately... just go with your gut feeling. And best of luck for a positive outcome!
They are contradictory thoughts, but I have so many of them all the time and I just don't know how to word them all at times.
So, I figured a letter to nobody would be just the trick to say what I had to say.
Letter-writing = good therapy :)
So do you think you'll someday work up the nerve to say this?
Perhaps.
I used to write letters all the time. I used to keep a journal too, you know, before the days of the internet, lol.
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